FTPC's 'How To Free A Pen'
Pens, pens, pens... Firstly i'd just like to thank everyone for saying 'wat an excellent site we have'. It is b'cos of your praise that we continue to update and try and find stuff to keep you amused and stuff that you'll like.
Next I thought now we have a more widespread fanbase that i'd explain in more depth about the campaign, like how to free a pen.

Well firstly if you are going to free a pen make sure u do it right...
1- Walk into the place of pen imprisonment.
2- Look around, know your surroundings, look out for any cameras and look straight @ them so they get a good look at your face.
3- Find your inky friend, comfort him/her with some nice words "don't worry pal, we're gettin u the fuck outta here."
4 - Free that pen!
5- Jubilantly parade around the pen prison, waving your prize in the air.
6- Make sure you write somewhere in the shop "Pens Are Not Slaves" (or something along those lines and the websites name.)

Doin It 4 James's Everywhere!
Doin it 4 James's everywhere is the way... If your name is James, then you are doin it 4 James's everywhere cos your a James. There is even a handshake and special rights, like priority over everyone else wen it comes to blaggin off another Jim for wateva reason. Erm, yeh oh and thas about it, 'cept u got the best name in the history of eva except perhaps Phil McCrackin...